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Are you a victim of limiting beliefs
When a client seeks help in trying to increase her confidence and self esteem, one of the first strategies Jayne Briggs uses, as a life coach, is to help the client to look at his/her limiting beliefs . Very often when life coaching, Jayne will hear phrases such as, "I feel unappreciated", "I am sick of being a doormat", "when I think of all the years I have spent devoting my time and attention to my kids, and yet they show me no respect, I feel my life has been wasted".
Have you ever heard such things fall out of your mouth? If so, then perhaps it is time to stop being a victim, take a step back and take a long look at how you have attracted such behaviour towards yourself.
In the late fifties, Albert Ellis, a well known American Psychologist, developed a 'new' form of therapy called, "Rational Emotive Behavioural Therapy". Ellis strongly believed that a client's emotional pain stemmed from their own beliefs and philosophies.
When you become a victim, you are treated as such. When you lose your self respect, you cannot expect others to treat you with respect. This may seem harsh, but it is true. There is help at hand, however. Jayne Briggs has coached male and female clients who have all fallen victims to the people they cherish the most - their families. Giving can be rewarding and fulfilling, but when you give, give, give and people start to take advantage of your kindness. Or just expect you to drop everything, every time they flick their fingers, unless you assert yourself, you start to fall into the trap of "oh, woe is me". As a personal life coach , Jayne Briggs has helped women, who have fallen into the 'victim' trap, to take stock of how they interact with family and friends. These women have come to realise, that how they view themselves is how other people come to view them. In order to overcome 'victimitis' , you need to stop blaming yourself for other people's problems. Guilt plays no part in improving your self esteem. Guilt only brings you down and makes you feel depressed. Instead of feeling guilty, why not consider which of your beliefs is limiting your potential and undermining your ability to communicate effectively. Would you like to take control of your life? You may ask, how?
Start by being kind to yourself, listen to your inner voice and take notice of your needs rather than putting others' needs before your own. If you do not take care of yourself, you are not capable of taking care of others. If you do not know how to give to yourself, then you cannot effectively give to others, without feeling resentful, frustrated or even angry.
So, stop the madness and do yourself a favour - write down your limiting beliefs and look at how you can change them in order to feel better about yourself and increase your self esteem.
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