Relationship Conflict – how to deal with the stress it can cause?

Facing or dealing with conflict within a relationship, which may ultimately lead to it’s breakdown, can be very stressful and emotionally draining, to say the least.  It can also impact on the rest of the family. Also, what can add to the angst is when you choose to blame yourself for the breakdown, or others are pointing the blame at you.

Having the right support in place is crucial, yet sometimes talking to friends and family members can create even further confusion.  Therefore, it is important that you and your partner/spouse consider ways in which you can deal with the situation you are facing.  Yet, how can this happen if communication has broken down or if one partner chooses to leave?

First of all, it’s important to take time out to calm down, assess your thoughts and then decide how you are going to deal with it.  Talking certainly helps, especially when you are angry and upset.   Yet, some people find it hard to talk about how they really feel, for fear of being judged  or criticized i.e. “I told you so”.  Anyone who chooses to treat you in this way is of no help to you at all, and you need to avoid them. 

Instead talking to a professional therapist can certainly help.  He or she will provide you with a safe and confidential space to offload your thoughts and relinquish feelings of hurt, anger, frustration, bitterness and heartache.  In doing so, you will be amazed at how much better you will start to feel. Also, talking to someone who ‘understands’ and who can empathise with you will help you to make sense of the situation you are in and eventually, you will start to feel more confident about the choices and decisions you need to make.

Breaking up is hard to do, but I find that for some couples, who still love each other, entering into therapy, being able to talk things through in a ‘neutral space’ away from the earshot of their children, certainly helps them to come to terms with what has happened and find ways in which to overcome the difficulties they are facing.

Getting the right help and support as soon as you can will also help you to avoid sinking into depression.  Too often, by the time a person decides to seek help, they are already depressed and may have had to resort to taking anti-depressants.  Therefore, the quicker you can get the right support, the quicker you will start to take control of your life and decide the best course of action.

So, if you are facing conflict in a relationship or the prospect of a divorce or separation, do something about it NOW before it starts to have a major impact on your health and wellbeing.

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